So, I went out with a new guy tonight (what to call him, hmm….). The one I was a bit apprehensive about.

All was well. A good time was had. He was nice, conversation was fine, and (if I didn’t mention before) he’s tall and good looking (score). A bit on the quiet side, but maybe he was just nervous. Nothing too bad or red-flag about him at all.

Except for this one small thing. Actually, two.

ONE: He didn’t pay. He didn’t even offer.

OK, OK…before everyone goes jumping down my throat, I am NOT one of those girls who expects a guy to pay EVERY time. I didn’t mind paying, and it’s not a fake offer (as I obviously did dish it up and came prepared to do so). But, I do think that the guy should at least offer. Which he didn’t. And, this was clearly a date, it wasn’t a gray area “non-date” situation.

There was never a tragic “let’s go dutch” conversation. He never asked me to pay. And he never offered to pay.

Here’s the scene: the bill comes, and it is placed between us. We both sit there and then he says something like “what did it come to?” – so I pick it up (first) and look at it and tell him the total ($24). I then pull out $20 and I have it in my hand. He says, “do you have any smaller bills?” I say no and he says I can get change. He puts the meal on his card and I get change from the waitress. I hand him $10.

We then walk to my car (he asks if I want him to, I say sure and offer to drive him to his if he walks me to mine, fair deal). When we get to his car, he says, “well, it’s still early, is there anything else to do around here? I mean, do you want to do something else?” I tell him there is a billiard down the street, so we head there. Finding no parking, we park elsewhere and end up going to a movie. We went to see Cache (Hidden) and again, we each pay our own way. No offer was made. I walk up to the counter and get my own ticket, and he gets his after me.

After the movie, I drive him back to his car and then he leans in for the kiss (see number two). We part ways saying we’ll talk soon and hang out again and it was fun and all that jazz.


To me, he should have offered to pick up the check, I would say “no, it’s OK,” and then either he would insist and say, “no, I’ll pay” and I would concede; or he could have said at that point said “OK, we’ll split it.” That’s fine, perfectly acceptable. But the gentlemanly offer should have been there.

It could have been a variety of things. Maybe he was one of those guys so put off by spending money on girls to get nothing in return, that he didn’t want to waste his money on me without knowing if he would ever see me again or whatnot. Maybe he couldn’t afford it – which I of course understand given my own money issues. Maybe he thought, “hey cool, she’s paying!” Who knows.

What do you think?

TWO: He’s a bad kisser.

OK, this can be worked with. I’ve dealt with it before. He was just a little bit too aggressive and a little bit too “let me shove my tongue down your throat.” Whoa there. I was a bit put off.

Then again, I’ve slept with guys before who had that problem and ended up being good (and fun) in bed.

I guess it’s just disappointing to have the first kiss be kind of eh. And, in the car. Sigh.

CONCLUSION: He gets a second date. Then we go from there.

Notes for both situations (before you comment):
1. He’s 26.
2. He just got out of a 6 month relationship.
3. This was clearly a date.
4. The entire date (dinner and movie) was under $50. $24 for dinner and $18 for movie tickets.
5. He got my number. He asked me out. He asked me to continue the date after dinner. He kissed me at the end of the night. He told me he wanted to see me again. All initiated by him.

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