Lately I’ve been thinking about how my life is one big balancing act. I feel like I’m in between a lot of things and various extremes. Being satisfied and being miserable with my job, liking and disliking being single, being fat and getting skinny, being poor and being OK financially, and just being happy and unhappy in general; based on all of the aforementioned factors.

I’m not sure if I’m being overdramatic, maybe I am…but I just feel like I can’t win. I have the great ability to see almost every situation from both sides - so with every decision I make to make a change in my life, I see the benefits and the drawbacks. Change can be a good thing, it can be refreshing, exciting, and even a life altering experience. But, there is also something to be said for remaining loyal - to yourself, to your loved ones, and to other factors in your life that have proven to be good for you.

I’ve found it hard to concentrate lately, and hard to pinpoint exactly what it is that I feel like I want, or need, or what I’m lacking (if anything). It’s hard to tell if it’s a problem that can be fixed, or if it’s something deep inside of me that I need to evaluate and examine. It’s not that I’m necessarily in a funk, I know when I’m down and depressed - it’s more like I’m at a reflective stage, but not quite sure what my reflection is showing. Again, maybe I’m just being overdramatic.

Hopefully though, all will reveal itself in time - although I don’t always know what’s going to happen and can’t control everything that I want to…I do believe that most everything happens for a reason - and have this blind faith and optimism that whatever happens will be for the best.