So, I found/remembered and was reading through an old livejournal that I kept in 2004, which was pretty embarrassing to go through. Even worse that I was a moron and used pretty much everyone’s real name. I have since copied all my posts there (why not, they are good for remembering shit), and deleted the account in the hopes that nobody ever comes across it. It is interesting to see how far I’ve come in three years though. I may have similar problems or thoughts, but I express them and approach them in a much more sophisticated way. I’ve become more independent, more comfortable with myself (for the most part) and just grown up overall.

Anyway, I also came across an interesting little post, where I questioned my identity. It’s funny, I guess I still have that question. In high school I was “so and so’s girlfriend”, in college I was a DZ, or the “asian girl in DZ” or something like that. And, I was thinking…in the future I’ll be someone’s wife, or someone’s mom, or something of that nature.

But right now, in this moment…what am I? I don’t “belong” to anyone or anything…I’m just…me. But, what does that mean? I’m somebody’s friend, I’m somebody’s co-worker or employee, somebody’s roommate or somebody’s daughter…but, to me that’s not really an identity. It’s not something that impacts others, or even something that is truly meaningful. Not that being someone’s girlfriend or in a particular sorority was meaningful or descriptive of who I am…but I guess it was something to identify with. Life is all about relationships and networks…so I guess I’m just struggling with where I fit into that right now.

Just a thought I revisited and decided to throw out there…

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