I have noticed lately that in the workplace, women get asked questions that men never do. Questions such as, “are you more career-oriented or family-oriented” and “How to you plan to manage work and family life?” If you are a man and have ever been asked this question in a corporate setting (interview or otherwise), then please, let me know. If my assumptions are correct, then it is still women that are being asked these kinds of questions and NOT men. How does that work, in this day and age of “equality” in the workplace?

I’ve written before about feminism and glass ceilings in the workplace, but this is a little bit different. To me, it’s a low blow. I am offended if people ask me those kinds of questions, because it second guesses me and if I will be able to do my job or not. Also because, at this point in my life, I’m not sure. I don’t know when I’m going to get married or have children, or what I will want to do with my career at that point. And, why should I have to know that now? Why is that relevant now for the next say, two or three years? Sure, maybe someone got burned before by a woman who left a position because she got married, or got pregnant. But, is that any different than a man leaving for the same reason? His wife is moving, or they decided that he would stay home with the children. No, but I am willing to bet that a man would never get asked about his intentions to mix work and family obligations and how he planned to tackle that. I know plenty of women who have considered this, but how many men out there have?

There was an article recently that highlighted the issue of a lack of women in boardrooms across the country. I agree that still, there is a problem in that women are not properly groomed and trained to be good executives. It’s hard for women to find good role models, and also be given the opportunity to really know how to properly balance that work and family life. There is the school of thought that a woman who is too career minded cannot properly care for her family, and also the idea that a woman who stays home is degrading herself by not “really” working (though ask anyone who does it, and being a homemaker is not sitting around eating bon-bons all day either) and contributing to setting women the women’s movement back.

All of this leads me to wonder, what am I going to do? How are the choices I make now changing (or reversing) choices that my mother made? And how are they going to affect my daughters?

According to the Census Bureau, over half of U.S. households are not legally married. This means that the majority of people living in the U.S. are either single or cohabiting.

Now, to me this news is a little scary. It means that as of now, people are choosing to be alone and not raise families as a “traditional” family unit. Does this mean that society is shifting and maybe what was once “traditional” will no longer be so?

According to the article,

“…He predicted that cohabitation and temporary relationships between people were likely to dominate America’s social landscape for years to come.

‘Overall, what I see is a situation in which people — especially children — will be much more isolated, because not only will their parents both be working, but they’ll have fewer siblings, fewer cousins, fewer aunts and uncles,” the scholar argued. “So over time, we’re moving towards a much more individualistic society…’”

Personally, I come from a small family. I’m an only child, and I have no cousins. When my grandparents, aunts and uncles, and parents are gone…then it’s just me. I get it all. It’s kind of sad actually.

I love big familes. A dealbreaker relationship for me is someone else who is an only child. All of my closest female friends come from “huge, messy, tons of cousins” type families. I love that and all of the drama and excitement that comes with it. Because with the hardship, comes the love, and the togetherness. I am always spending time with my friends and their families, I am even close with extended members and hang out on holidays. As much as I love my parents, I find it kind of depressing and boring to be just with them on holidays and such, so I want to have that big group when I have my own family.

I think that 30 million single men and women is a problem. In addition to that, there are 14 million single mothers compared to 5 million single fathers. Maybe both sexes are being too picky in what they are looking for in a mate, resulting in learning to live comfortably alone, and not being willing to compromise. I’m not one for compromising self or losing track of your own values and beliefs, but sometimes you have to give a little to get a little.

Maybe people are given too many options and cling to the idea that a relationship is only temporary, and there will always be something else just around the corner. Maybe people get comfortable and just don’t want to rock the boat with the formality of marriage. I remember one girl I knew in elementary school, and her mom lived with her boyfriend of 10 years. TEN years! At that point, what’s stopping you? Marriage may just be a “legal” thing to some people, but when it comes down to it, it is at the bare minimum a necessity for your family should anything happen to your significant other.

It’s sad that I have so many friends age 24-28 who are scared they will never get married. They will never find the right time, or the right person, or be in that perfect place in life where it all seems to fall together. And, given the statistics in the article regarding the slight shift in the makeup of our nation’s households…maybe we’re all right to be scared of what the future does (or doesn’t) hold.