I’ve come to realize I have an unfortunate addiction. No, it’s not an item, food, or even men or sex. It’s worse. I’m addicted to advice.

I’ve realized that in the beginning of every relationship I have, or through many of the large decisions I make in life, I overshare and constantly seek out advice from my friends. And now, from blogs. I read blogs and decide which ones relate to my life, and read the comments people leave with various (good or bad) advice. I have my own blogs that I write asking for opinions or advice that I take to heart. (And yes, even this one counts - although it’s not really asking a question.)

Maybe the need to hear what other’s think is some kind of approval method for me, that if others think something is OK, then it must be. Done and done. Maybe it’s just initial insecurity with a new relationship that needs to be reassured. But in reality, nobody can really know a situation unless they are right in the middle of it. Nobody can understand your fight with your friend other than you and that friend - because you were there, you know the person, and you understand how they think. Same with relationships. We can all take whatever advice from friends and loved ones about what our significant other may be thinking or the motives for their actions…but really the only person who knows the truth is you (maybe) and them.

Of course there comes a point with advice where you know you should take it, but you don’t. Often I’m told that I will ask around but then still end up doing what I want anyway. And that’s just the way I am and I realize that. Maybe we just ask until we get the answer that we want to hear, or the answer that we think we’re looking for.

Then there is the fact that sometimes people can tell you something over and over, but you still don’t get it. You don’t want to. Like my last relationship, people told me over and over that he wasn’t good for me…and it took me being done with it and kicking myself in the ass to get over it. I stopped when I was done. I’m not saying it was a good decision, but it was something I had to do on my own.

I know I’m not the only one out there with this addiction. Some people may call it a cry for attention, but I don’t think that’s it. As I said it’s more of an approval thing, but even so - I usually do what I want regardless of what others say. And, if I really care about something, I don’t usually blog it or share it. Sometimes not even with my closest friends. But, at some point I will ask around for opinions and advice, and I will try to figure it out with a little help from my friends. Is this a healthy pattern of behavior? Maybe, maybe not. But, I’ve realized it’s how I operate, and I’m not quite sure if I need to stop.

*Post title an ode to Brit-Brit…maybe she’ll make a Fed-Ex comeback. We can only hope.

I’ve come to realize I have an unfortunate addiction. No, it’s not an item, food, or even men or sex. It’s worse. I’m addicted to advice.

I’ve realized that in the beginning of every relationship I have, or through many of the large decisions I make in life, I overshare and constantly seek out advice from my friends. And now, from blogs. I read blogs and decide which ones relate to my life, and read the comments people leave with various (good or bad) advice. I have my own blogs that I write asking for opinions or advice that I take to heart. (And yes, even this one counts - although it’s not really asking a question.)

Maybe the need to hear what other’s think is some kind of approval method for me, that if others think something is OK, then it must be. Done and done. Maybe it’s just initial insecurity with a new relationship that needs to be reassured. But in reality, nobody can really know a situation unless they are right in the middle of it. Nobody can understand your fight with your friend other than you and that friend - because you were there, you know the person, and you understand how they think. Same with relationships. We can all take whatever advice from friends and loved ones about what our significant other may be thinking or the motives for their actions…but really the only person who knows the truth is you (maybe) and them.

Of course there comes a point with advice where you know you should take it, but you don’t. Often I’m told that I will ask around but then still end up doing what I want anyway. And that’s just the way I am and I realize that. Maybe we just ask until we get the answer that we want to hear, or the answer that we think we’re looking for.

Then there is the fact that sometimes people can tell you something over and over, but you still don’t get it. You don’t want to. Like my last relationship, people told me over and over that he wasn’t good for me…and it took me being done with it and kicking myself in the ass to get over it. I stopped when I was done. I’m not saying it was a good decision, but it was something I had to do on my own.

I know I’m not the only one out there with this addiction. Some people may call it a cry for attention, but I don’t think that’s it. As I said it’s more of an approval thing, but even so - I usually do what I want regardless of what others say. And, if I really care about something, I don’t usually blog it or share it. Sometimes not even with my closest friends. But, at some point I will ask around for opinions and advice, and I will try to figure it out with a little help from my friends. Is this a healthy pattern of behavior? Maybe, maybe not. But, I’ve realized it’s how I operate, and I’m not quite sure if I need to stop.

*Post title an ode to Brit-Brit…maybe she’ll make a Fed-Ex comeback. We can only hope.

I’ve come to realize I have an unfortunate addiction. No, it’s not an item, food, or even men or sex. It’s worse. I’m addicted to advice.

I’ve realized that in the beginning of every relationship I have, or through many of the large decisions I make in life, I overshare and constantly seek out advice from my friends. And now, from blogs. I read blogs and decide which ones relate to my life, and read the comments people leave with various (good or bad) advice. I have my own blogs that I write asking for opinions or advice that I take to heart. (And yes, even this one counts - although it’s not really asking a question.)

Maybe the need to hear what other’s think is some kind of approval method for me, that if others think something is OK, then it must be. Done and done. Maybe it’s just initial insecurity with a new relationship that needs to be reassured. But in reality, nobody can really know a situation unless they are right in the middle of it. Nobody can understand your fight with your friend other than you and that friend - because you were there, you know the person, and you understand how they think. Same with relationships. We can all take whatever advice from friends and loved ones about what our significant other may be thinking or the motives for their actions…but really the only person who knows the truth is you (maybe) and them.

Of course there comes a point with advice where you know you should take it, but you don’t. Often I’m told that I will ask around but then still end up doing what I want anyway. And that’s just the way I am and I realize that. Maybe we just ask until we get the answer that we want to hear, or the answer that we think we’re looking for.

Then there is the fact that sometimes people can tell you something over and over, but you still don’t get it. You don’t want to. Like my last relationship, people told me over and over that he wasn’t good for me…and it took me being done with it and kicking myself in the ass to get over it. I stopped when I was done. I’m not saying it was a good decision, but it was something I had to do on my own.

I know I’m not the only one out there with this addiction. Some people may call it a cry for attention, but I don’t think that’s it. As I said it’s more of an approval thing, but even so - I usually do what I want regardless of what others say. And, if I really care about something, I don’t usually blog it or share it. Sometimes not even with my closest friends. But, at some point I will ask around for opinions and advice, and I will try to figure it out with a little help from my friends. Is this a healthy pattern of behavior? Maybe, maybe not. But, I’ve realized it’s how I operate, and I’m not quite sure if I need to stop.

*Post title an ode to Brit-Brit…maybe she’ll make a Fed-Ex comeback. We can only hope.

One thing I really hate about dating is the idea of rules. Maybe it’s because I’m young and don’t know any better, but I have a few ideas about the first few weeks of dating and how to handle things. And I’m constantly unsure of if I’m playing “the game” right or not.

For one, how much is too much? Contact that is. If he calls you, should you call back right away? Do you wait? How long do you wait? If you call him, then he doesn’t answer…how long do you wait before you figure he isn’t interested?

You don’t want to look desperate or pressed by being the one to call him necessarily, especially if you’re not even sure if or how much you like him. Then again you don’t want to look uninterested in case you really are (interested). Maybe it’s the fact that everyone has a defense mechanism set up for rejection so that gets in the way of getting anywhere.

What about sex? How long should you wait to have sleep with him if you like him? If you want to date him? What about if you’re not sure yet if you want to date him or maybe just hook up with him? Then the rules can change and it doesn’t matter.

Then there’s the actual dating scenario. Who decides where to go when? Do you switch off or make it a mutual agreement?

Sigh…all these rules, three-day waiting periods before calling, three-date waiting periods before sex…I mean come on…what do you want guys? Do you care about the rules as they were, or do you just know when you know and throw the rules out?

So, I have a question to throw out to the blogosphere…what kinds of differences in a relationship are acceptable, and what can’t be worked out? Does it depend on the person?

For example, if you are a die-hard Republican and you date someone who is fairly liberal…will that work? What about if you are Muslim and your partner is Catholic. Or Jewish and Mormon?

I’ve always thought that while opposites can (and do) attract, that most relationships are between similar people. People of similar values, backgrounds, socio-economic status, etc…

But where is the line between acceptable conflict and irreconcilable differences?